an early gift.

i have recently been given a gift on kind of a profound level.  i guess you could call it my own little christmas miracle.  i have been SICK this fall.  like the kind of sick when your friends bring you meals.  i was just getting a little better when it was time to host thanksgiving. honestly i don't even remember that day.  it was just a blur.  the next thing i knew it was december, and i had something to do every morning, afternoon, and evening. if you know me, you know i am a homebody by nature and having to be somewhere every hour TALKING just wears me out. then i can't sleep at night because i replay all the times i put my foot in my mouth all throughout the day.  it's a vicious cycle, my friends!  

add to that the stress of not having started shopping, being behind on etsy orders, a broken christmas tree, and i was about to short out. literally.  my body was weak, and my mind was not far behind.  WELL, thanks to nature (GOD) i have finally rested and am 100% physically (and mentally) because of enforced isolation: a texas ice storm, when EVERYTHING shuts down.  4 days, all to myself, to sled, make soup, drink endless cups of coffee, and decorate our home for christmas.  

why to people complain about having to be in their HOME?  with their FAMILIES?  so baffling to me.  we have had a wonderful time.  these days have felt like a vacation, and i am fully charged to face the holiday season.  


the grand budapest hotel.

quirky, wonderful, and made for me like every other wes anderson film. i watch the trailer over and over and think...who else would love something like this?  plenty, i guess, because this little gem will be opening the 64th berlin international film festival on February 6, 2014.  


fashion week.

 via here.

via here.

via here.

via here.


all of them.  we are in the middle of paris fashion week, but here are some highlights from earlier in the month.  i love keeping up with them, and i have since i was old enough to understand fashion.  i used to have to wait for the highlights in W or vogue, but now i can watch, sometime even live!  (i love this interweb thing.)

1.  dior, in new york.  always perfect, and has been for decades.
2.  rafael cennamo, also in new york. worn by celebrities, loved by me.
3.  chanel, in paris.  this is my favorite moment of the year so far.  my favorite designer, and a 50 ft. globe pinpointed with every chanel store across the globe.  epic music and clothing. 
4.  i loved guy laroche's futuristic theme.  this happened earlier today in paris. 


jt on snl.

jt's last snl appearance was in march and i'm STILL thinking and talking about it (and immensely enjoying his album).  ok, i know what you're thinking...but you know me better than that!  hey, this kid is TALENTED...and hilarious...and doesn't take himself too seriously (which i love).  i watch this ALL THE TIME, because in my fantasies i can dance exactly like this. (i'm not even close.) so if you want to see perfect choreography, do yourself a favor and watch this.


a little color.

i love this set found here.

my favorite color is gray.  i love the way it works as the perfect neutral and i think it's elegant without the severity of wearing black everyday.  even though i feel very comfortable in my current style, i've had the feeling that i'm stuck in a rut for a quite a while.  i tried a few years ago to wear brighter colors, but they just weren't "me".

recently, i bought a bright blue earring and bracelet set for some family pictures, and i love the way it looked!  in the next few months, i'll be working to update my jewelry to give my style a MUCH needed updating.  i have decent clothes, the perfect watch and *new diamond earrings* (happy anniversary to me), so i'll be buying new necklaces (which i've NEVER worn) and fun bracelets when i can.  it will be like a new wardrobe for a fraction of the price and it will work much better for me than trying to wear brightly colored clothing.  have you ever updated your wardrobe with just accessories?

francesca's and charming charlie, here i come!


daft punk.

so did anyone else see the 15 second mysterious commercial that aired on SNL?  it was actually on two weeks ago, and i have been watching online to see if anyone knew what it meant.  initially, i thought that they were just announcing their switch to a new label, but if you go online, the consensus is that we will have a new record...and soon. the sample from the commercial has also been made into a full track and is being sold as a "leak", which of course, isn't true.  it would be GREAT considering all we've had from them in years has been the tron soundtrack (which was fantastic.)  

good thing i'm a patient girl.  a new album means a TOUR
and that's what i'm after.  i've always wanted to see them live.


j.viewz playing teardrop with vegetables.

this is kind of silly, but i love it.  (ignore the ugly sweater and bare feet.)  teardrop is one of my favorite massive attack songs, so that also adds to the love.  he did this using a HIGHLY manipulated controller, but the idea is still pretty cool.


do everything in love.

i love this verse.  it is in my heart everyday.

in my five years of being a mother, i have witnessed the universal cry of the experience= EXHAUSTION.  every mother, everywhere.  we are over-worked, over-committed, and at times under appreciated. but what if we were to look at things a different way altogether?  we are called to love, and as we know from I cor. 13, it is patient and kind.  let what we do be done with the mindset of servitude and love, from discipline to baking, and everything in between.

i often get asked how i carry on about my life the way i do.  i'm not sure if it's because i didn't have children until my 30's, or if i've just let a lot of the meaningless things dissolve away, but my days are filled with joy.  every morning, i hear them wake up...life!  a gift. i don't obsess over the closets that need cleaning or the pictures that need organizing.  they will be done eventually.  i just choose a few things everyday that i can accomplish and finish them.  of course i don't always feel like it, but we cannot live by feelings.  we can choose to serve our families in love, and it will bring a blessing beyond all comprehension.  

i know i'm blessed and called to be able to stay home with my boys.  i know that's not for everyone, but when you are with your kids at night, BE with them.  they crave undivided attention, and being on our phones sends a mixed message.  (i am speaking to myself as well.)  

the days are passing so quickly.


help each other.

i love this, almost more than i can stand.  it's from the tree of life and this scene is so precious to me.  first of all, this is one of my favourite piano pieces by couperin, and i play it all the time. secondly, THIS IS MY LIFE, or will be in the near future when the boys get a little older.  unfortunately, this clip ends too soon.  the following seconds show mom and boys running in a beautiful field and then napping on a blanket outside.  there is a voice over by chastain: "help each other. love everyone. every leaf, every ray of light. forgive", and the piano piece ends.  it makes me feel emotional every time...bittersweet and happy mixed together.   

this movie really is full of the most lovely moments.  


the other path.

so i got some itunes gift cards for christmas, which are pretty much my idea of heaven on earth. i get alone with my headphones and computer and feel like the queen of the world as i carefully choose my new music. if i lived alone (and had no responsibilities) i would sit like this for days on end, just listening and trying to find new artists. as much as i hate to admit it, music completes me. the right tune/bass line can make me feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. it transcends me to another place, another mindset. if i dwell on my current favourites (or stay up all night listening to them) they're with me throughout the day. i think differently- i don't feel the need to talk. i can create, design, paint, compose...which leads me to my point. i should be composing. i do little melodies on the piano, but electronic music is what i hear in my head. i'm somewhere between jon hopkins and imogen heap.

when i discovered electronic music and realized what it meant to me, i took a fork in the road of my life. i remember the exact moment in college when the piano lab got the new midi software and i skipped classes all day to mess with it. i also remember going to a friend's house (who was experimenting with electronic music) and i got on his computer and composed in 15 minutes what he said would have taken him a week. he flipped out, and said i "had it" which of course i already knew. two distinct moments of clarity...

if i lived in this world all the time, i would not go to heaven. i would not have met my husband because i would not have gone to church. i would not have my beautiful children...i would live for new music, obsess completely over perfecting it and live at concerts. MUSIC WOULD BE MY GOD. my music isn't evil, it just consumes me. i'm really into several dozen artists and no one in the suburbs of texas knows them. i'll get the swan dress comment when i mention bjork, but my music is my own little secret, my escape. so private and intensely personal beyond even my own comfort level, but i relish in it (when i can) because i know that when it comes down to it, i can put it aside.